My experiences at the ‘GYM’!

So, after a lot of prodding from my husband and friends and watching a certain bollywood damsel move her pancake flat belly like jelly, I finally agreed that it was high time I got into shape as well. And since I had no clue on how to do that by myself, other than dancing or rather jumping like a maniac to some hip hop and bollywood music, I decided to overcome my fear and made my New Year resolution to get back in shape and stay fit by going to the GYM!!

I know I know, you’d think, hey, I’ve heard of people having fear of the dark, fear of heights, fear of closed spaces, fear of creepy crawlies…but fear of the gym??? Man, this gal really is bonkers! But you’d realize my fear is very genuine once you enter a real gym…as if it were not enough to enter a room full of equipment which look like they’ll trample you and squeeze every bit of life from your body the minute you touch them, there are other aspects like your co-gym-people, who for some reason always are hotly dressed and already toned and make you feel like a weird fatso the minute you enter the gym! And finally, the keepers of this hell, the gym instructors! If you thought your project managers were evil, you need to meet one of these creatures to realize what evil really is…brr…they wait in anticipation of the next unworldly soul, the next weakling who is condemned to enter their territory and oh so stealthily, they’ll pounce on their prey with their smiling faces and chiseled bodies and before you realize, they’ve chalked up a plan for you over the next 3 weeks (I guess that’s how long it takes for one to die at the gym) to rip off your flesh and soul bit by bit…hiahahahahh (evil laugh)


So, in spite of my ‘fear of the gym’ due to the obvious reasons stated above, I decided to put on a brave front and took one last look at the corridor leading to the gym, messaged my husband that I loved him, and entered the land of no return. As if on cue, a female ‘gym instructor’ came up to me and asked me if this was my first time at a gym (‘of course it’s my first time! I don’t think anyone survives the gym after the ‘first time’! I thought...). So, after getting my confirmation, she proceeded me to something that looked like a bicycle and tuned in a program for me and said, ‘keep pedaling at 30 and do not stop until the entire program is over’ (and she could have added, even if you think you’ll die halfway through this regime, do not stop). So I mustered all my strength and gave it my best shot…. (’Ha! I’m going to show it to her that I’m stronger than her…I’ll do this and walk away victorious! In fact, this isn’t that tough at all! I’m pedaling faster than 30! At this rate, my 15 minutes will be up in no time)…Pedal pedal pedal… (‘2 minutes gone’)…Pedal pedal pedal… (‘2.1 minutes gone…man, this bicycle clock must be slow…’), and then suddenly, the program changed! The pressure on the pedals increased and to my dismay, with every passing minute it just kept increasing! (‘Ahhh…so that was her evil plan…’), but even though my speed fell down to 21 now, I kept pedaling on that godamn thing and when I got off the machine at the end, my legs turned to jelly and I thought I’d lost my legs!! Unfortunately, even after seeing my fragile condition, the ‘Gym instructor’ did not relent and ordered me to run on another scary looking machine called the ‘treadmill’ for another 15 minutes! Thankfully, God was on my side that day, and she got distracted with another ‘meek looking victim’ and I ran towards the doors and escaped!!! Whew…Survived the first day!! But just as I was starting to jump in the air, ‘she’ called from behind saying ‘I’ve made a fitness regime for you and I’ll be expecting you to be here tomorrow sharp at 7..and do not try to miss tomorrow’s session or else today’s workout will have serious repercussions on your body’ (Shit! So, this is how they trap their prey…as if every muscle in my body wasn’t already in pain!)

Day 2:

I had a meeting which went on longer, no, umm, I’m not well (who am I kidding), umm..I just ate,..Cant gym right after that right?’..arrghhh..None of these excuses seemed good enough, plus everyone would laugh at me for chickening out on the second day itself! No, this won’t do…so halfheartedly, I trudged along back to the place of no-return. But lo and behold! What do I see when I enter the Gym-no instructor! Yep, that’s right! I felt like jumping up and down like a ping pong ball with joy and relief! I decided to make the most of my newfound freedom and checked out some of those machines from afar, did some perfunctory stretches and finally got on the bicycle and took my final revenge by setting the program to the easiest one and cycled away to glory! This was definitely a turning point towards my feelings for the Gym and I thought, maybe it’s not going to be that bad after all…little did I know, that this was just the devil smirking away in the corner, rubbing his hands in glee for what was to come the following day..

Day 3:

So happily, thinking about the previous day and oblivious to devil’s plans, I entered the dreaded Gym with a gusto I never knew, once I confirmed that the instructor was not there again! What luck! Just as I settled in to cycle at my ‘lazy speed program’, one pointy finger crept up from my right and like a flash reset the program to the hardest level!! I turned to see who would dare do that, and looked straight into the evil smiling eyes of my instructor! She was back and looked as menacing as ever! These devils, I tell you, they have the faces of angels and they smile at you like it’s you they’re helping, but only I know the truth behind those smiles and those words of encouragement…I was doomed. ‘So, we’ll start with 10 minutes of cycling today, and then I’ll teach you some other exercises to tone your body’, she said, her eyes gleaming. I wondered, ‘other exercises?! Here, at the gym? God knows what awaits me’…Finally, when I finished cycling on that monstrous cycle and my legs had gone back to being jelly, she got me out in the front, so that everyone on the god-awful Gym could look at me and take delight in my slow death.

‘Stand straight and put some distance between your legs, look up straight, suck in your tummy, don’t slouch! Ok, now slowly try and squat and push your bottom outwards…More! More! Yeah, that’s better, no, don’t push yourself in front…you’re doing it wrong again…Your bum should be jutting out! Yes, that’s better, now this is called SQUATS’ said the lady instructor in strict overtones. I felt like I was a monkey at a circus with her being my ring leader, plus it wasn’t helping that every time I would have to stick my bum out, I’d be conscious of all the other gym goers looking at my fat bum! Finally, my 20-20 sets were over, but the circus performance was far from getting over. ‘Now, the next exercise is called LUNGES. Put your right leg in front, further, further, further (‘She’s trying to split me apart! Nooo!’), Yes, now stand straight so that your left leg is stretching and the foot is lifted so that the heel is off the ground, yes better, chin up, chest out, bum out! Don’t slouch!! (‘I hope this exercise ends at just trying to balance in this weird pose, man!’) Hmm, that’ll do, now do the squatting exercise with this posture, your body weight should be on your right leg when you go down, but make sure that your knee is in line with your feet’, said the lady instructor (‘now, how the hell am I supposed to do that’??!) So she said I was supposed to do 20-20 sets each, but apparently I kept doing it wrong (‘duh! Anyone would do such an awful exercise incorrectly’) and I ended up doing 30-30 instead! Hmm, maybe she was a spy or a secret service agent before she became the gym instructor, because this sure as hell is a form of advance torture technique where they slyly devise to break your knee, every time you ‘lunge’ with your whole body weight on one knee, so you can’t run! After this and some more weird exercises, I thought I’d had enough and told her it was time for my bus. ‘Oh, so soon? But it’s only been half an hour! (‘As if that wasn’t enough to kill me already’) Ok, but before you leave, you need to do 5 minutes of stretching. (‘Great! More stretching??’) Ok, so hold you right leg from the toe and bring it back to touch your hip with your heel, while you’re standing and without bending your knee. And to balance, you can put out your left hand like you’re taking a pledge in the air’, She said. Oh god! So this is the final blow…if the physical torture doesn’t kill you, resort to mental torture, humiliate your victim and make them do things they’ll never forget. I felt like a standing superman (‘make it standing shaking superman, because I couldn’t balance, even with my arm out like that!’) and I could feel everyone laughing inwardly at this ridiculous stretching pose of mine! I felt like I’d gone 6 years back in time to my engineering ragging period where my seniors had taken great delight in making me put a hand out towards the sky and jump around like a retard pretending you were superman…Sigh! And I thought I had escaped tyranny.

But, like the previous days, I managed to survive, and somehow, by the end of the 3rd day, when I reached home and took a hot shower and settled down for dinner, I felt rejuvenated! I was completely awake, and had a pretty good appetite as well. I was quite surprised. Could it really be possible that what my husband and my friends said about the gym actually being a good thing be true? Could my tyrant of a lady instructor actually be working wonders on my muscle? If I continued this strictly, could I get a fabulous body like Angelina Jolie??? (‘Ok…Even I know the last wish is a bit farfetched ;)’). With all these questions in mind and a happy feeling, I fell asleep like a baby and didn’t have to fidget in bed for an hour to get to sleep that night…amazing!

3 Months Later:

What?! Going to the Gym? And me? Oh no, that place is cursed! It is actually the real hell with those instructors being the king and the queen of the ‘Gym-underworld’, waiting for unsuspecting, unhealthy victims like me, so that they can suck out every bit of life from us! I just won’t allow you to persuade me to sacrifice my life like this, even if it’s for free and even if you say you look and feel younger because of that place. I just won’t!! See what they’ve done to you now! You look like one of ‘them’ with your toned body and that pro-gym talk. How did they manage to change you? You and I were supposed to be the ‘anti-gym’ crusaders!’ complained my friend, who’d just joined our company and moved to our city and all I could do was smile all-knowingly. Wink!

Trip to Diveagarh-19th Feb ’11


The entire week since Pinks told me about going on just a twosome getaway to a nearby beach, all I could think about was the beach and what fun we’ll have there! We had decided on a short trip, leaving home by Saturday (19th Feb ’11) around 11 am and returning on Sunday (20th Feb ’11) post lunch from Diveagarh (the beach we were going to).

So, before I start my version of our trip, let me brief you on the destination a bit. Diveagarh is a small secluded, non commercialized beach, around 170 kms from Pune. It is one of the Konkan beaches and became a tourist destination just recently, when a farmer found a gold headpiece of Lord Ganesha in their field! So this gold piece was established in a temple near this village and the remaining part of Lord Ganesha was crafted in brass with gold plating. So, that is how this small village with its calm and serene beach became a tourist hotspot and most people visit this place when they plan a 4 day trip to Harihareshwar, Shrivardhan and Diveagarh (they are all beaches, but popular due to religious places associated with them). The Diveagarh beach is around 7-8 km long and one won’t find any shacks or vendors on the beach (except maybe a nariyal paani wala), which in a way is a pleasant relief, since it keeps the beach clean.

So, now that I’ve educated everybody with my great knowledge on Diveagarh’s history and geography, let me start off with my experience! Finally! As usual, being a woman, I got a bit late getting ready on Saturday morning (in my defense, weekends are the only 2 days I get to sleep late!) and we managed to leave home by 11:15 am. So armed with our supply of munchies and music, we set off towards Paud road. The view and roads until Tahmini ghats is just amazing. The roads are smooth like butter with huge mountains on the left or pristine blue lakes on the right. There are a lot of cafes on the way to Tahmini as well, where travelers can stop to take in the view with a cup of tea, but we decided to carry on and stop somewhere else. So some kms down the road, we found a lovely spot where you could walk down to touch the water of the lake and it had some makeshift hay huts, where Pinks tried his photography skills while I tried to model aroundJ. Once we crossed Tahmini ghat, there were some more ghats with really huge mountains on either sides of the road, but the roads weren’t that great after that. Still, we stopped in a couple of other places on the way where we thought the view was just breathtaking to click some pictures. I have to say, that the drive does provide some good options for any photographer. We crossed an industrial area called Ville DIMC which led us to Nizampur, a small town. After that, we crossed Mangaon and Morba and finally reached our destination, Diveagarh village. Once you cross Nizampur, the ghats give way to flat lands and since we were driving during the end of winters, it seemed to be a dry and boring landscape.

So, Diveagarh is actually the name of the village and that’s the place one enters first. Thankfully, Pinks had warned me not to expect anything as bustling with life as Goa or Pondicherry and as per his words, when we entered, it was hard to believe there was a beach hidden somewhere nearby! It actually felt like we’d entered into one of Kerela’s lanes with very tiny roads, lots of cats and dainty little huts surrounded by big coconut trees. The cool breeze was a welcome change from the dry lands that we had crossed earlier and all I wanted to do was fill my tummy with some lunch (since we hadn’t stopped to eat anything on the way and we reached Diveagarh at 3:30 pm) and then check into our home stay and rush to the beach! Didn’t want to miss the sunset after all J so we found a little open hut place to eat and hogged on chapattis, lobia, cabbage ki sabzee, pickle, papad, some coconut chutney and the best part of all, fish fry! My god, I hadn’t had fish which was so fresh, so soft and completely devoid of bones in a long time. And the spices they had coated the fish with, even though a bit on the spicier side, was just heavenly! We were so hungry and being major fish lovers, we had unlimited thali and two surmai fish fries each! And all this for just 250 rupees for both of us! I thought I’d die of shock, since in Pune, you’d get 1/10th of the part of a fish for 300 rupees J So our tummies full, our next task was to locate our accommodation, which was supposed to be a home stay, i.e., people rent out rooms in their own huts in the village at very nominal rates (ours was 800 rupees for a twin sharing room per night) and provide you with fresh home cooked food. I personally feel that if you’re travelling to a small place, you’ll get the best experience of the culture and cuisine of the place at such home stays. Unfortunately, we both realized that neither of us had any signal on our cell phones! Apparently, Diveagarh does not have Airtel’s network, so travelers need to be prepared accordingly. Luckily for us, another young couple came to our rescue and lent us their phone to use. After losing our way in that tiny village (now I know why signboards are so important!), we found our home stay- ……….. The care taker was a sweet, timid fat fellow, who showed us our room. Again, if you’re one of those travelers, who just can’t do without the common luxurious resorts, then you’ll be disappointed. As I’d mentioned, this was a village and we stayed in a villager’s hut, it turned out to be a tiny dimly lit room with a small bathroom with Indian style toilet and a small area in the front where they had kept chairs and a table. I thought it was cute and quite cozy for the two of us. The room was pretty clean and surrounded by coconut trees, cows and hens. J So after dumping our backpacks and changing into the beach gear, we walked off to the beach. It was a 2 minute walk through a dense coconut tree and red sand covered path to the beach from our home stay and the minute we touched the opening to the sea, I had goose bumps all over and tried to fill in my lungs with the lovely sea water breeze. This isn’t a beach like Goa or Puri (that is in Orissa), where the waves are angry and splash you around, but it is one of those calmer beaches with a huge beach area and water which laps up at your feet. The beach had the softest and cleanest sand I’d seen (obviously can’t compare it to a foreign country or the ones at Andamans), but it is still a lovely place to walk, run, play or just sit and stare into the vast expanse of water. The only problem was that the beach was brimming with baby crabs! Not like any of them bit us or anyone else on the beach, but it’s still a bit disconcerting when you think you’re stepping on a crab while walking along the beach! Haha! So we jumped into the water, soaked ourselves, ran around like children, got tired, had a couple of amazingly sweet tender coconuts on the beach and finally settled down to watch the beautiful sunset, while Pinks tried to capture it all and try out his photography skills again. Since this beach isn’t a commercialized one, it’s difficult and not safe to linger on the beach after 7 pm. Also, the tide starts growing after that, so the water comes right up to the entrance of the beach. So we left the beach around 7, got back to our home stay, took turns to shower and settled for a relaxing night. This place again does not have a night life, and since it’s a village, I think the norm is to have an early night and not make too much of a hulla bulla. If you’re staying at a resort, then you might have a mini bar or something, otherwise, the best thing is to carry your own drinks and munchies, maybe a small portable music player, since most of the home stays allow you to drink and smoke in your rooms, but do not serve alcohol. I was content, since I got some really good quality time with my husband without the distraction of TV or anything else ;). We listened to music, talked and played 20 questions, and finally around 9 pm, had another round of very spicy, but amazingly yummy fish thali. We ended the night after a short walk around the village, which was a different experience altogether, walking along small kuccha roads with lanterns and nothing but the sound of crickets to give you company. By 10 pm, we were fast asleepJ. We woke up early next morning, did our ablutions, (which wasn’t a great experience due to the spicy food the night before), had a cup of tea and headed off straight to the beach again. It was again a lovely since the sun was just getting out, so it all looked blue and yellow at the same time, but interestingly, the beach was already full with the few tourists, either bathing in the sea, or jogging, or walking or doing something else. We went in the water again, after which I set off to look for shells as souvenirs to take back from this lovely beach, while Pinks did some more photography. We also had our breakfast of bread omelet with sweet tender coconut to quench our thirst from the same vendor! I tell you, it’s such a small place, that even he gave us a smile of recognition and asked, ‘malai wala hi chahiye na didi?’ J Finally, we got back to our home stay to shower and pack up for leaving. We decided to have lunch here itself, so satiate our hunger for fish one last time, and after stuffing our tummies again and taking some more pictures in and around the village and the beach, we set off, back to Pune and back to the city life around 1:30 pm. The journey back wasn’t that exciting, since I slept most of the way..heheh..But we managed to reach Pune by 5 pm, to a welcoming home. All in all, I give 8/10 to Diveagarh, especially as a couple’s getaway, if you want to spend some quality time with your loved one without the hustle and bustle of the city life. Not to forget a place for fish lovers to gorge on fish as well!