The truth is, I betrayed him. I had promised him everything – my love, my soul, my body, my honesty, my loyalty, my friendship, my support. But in the end, I betrayed him. It wasn’t for lack of trying. I had given him ten years of everything, until everything wasn’t enough. I used to believe, that love was bottomless. Maybe love was, but life wasn’t.
The truth is, I betrayed her. When she left me, I thought I couldn’t bear it. I thought I couldn’t love again. She had promised me her life, but she reneged on her promise when she died. She broke my heart and I couldn’t even blame her. I couldn’t blame anyone and I felt unmoored. The black hole of my grief and anger threatened to eat me alive, had I not stumbled upon her, on that rainy night, waiting to be rescued. It took me one look into her big brown eyes to fall in love all over again.
The truth is, I thought I would die that night. All I wanted was to be loved and to love. But it seemed like no one had the time for me. They wanted a play thing, but not someone to love. I had tried so hard but in the end they left me alone when they left for their country. They didn’t know what to do with me, so they just left me on the streets. I would have died of cold and hunger, had it not been for him that night, saving me from the rain. Bringing me back home with him. I loved the warmth of his home and his heart. I fell in love with him instantly, but I was afraid. Afraid of being left alone again.
But the truth is also this, that it has been two years now, and I’ve grown up. Middle aged now. And he never left my side. I know he misses his wife, he loved her deeply. I try to comfort him on his worst nights. But I’m a furry creature after all. Of flesh and blood but not of his kind. Every time I put my paw on his knee, I wish, for him to find love again, for him to meet another woman, who will fill the other half of the void in his life with the love that he deserves.