Stay At Home Series – Episode 8: When the Gods went on a vacation

Photo by Binti Malu on

My daughter finished her online class, which actually means I finished her online class, since four year olds have the attention span of a Dory fish.

Then she looked at me with an exasperated expression and said, “When will this Corona virus end??

I don’t know sweetheart..but I’m sure it will be soon“, I assured her with a placating smile that most parents put up when they’re lying to their children.

Are you praying to your Gods, bache?“, my 65 year old mom asks from across the table. She addresses my daughter as bache most of the time, an endearing way of saying, child.

Yes! I do! Every day! I don’t know why God won’t help me or listen to my prayers?!“, she sounds even more frustrated now. Her eyebrows arched up like that of an actress showing discontent, and her tiny little mouth scrunched up, making the overall effect quite adorably comic.

It’s because the Gods have packed up and gone on a vacation. They decided we were a bunch of naughty children and they were tired of our fake prayers. So they decided to take a break and go on a vacation“, I said, because being the agnostic in the family, I couldn’t blatantly tell my daughter I don’t believe in Gods, the way my extremely pious and religious mom does. Also, children always believe in Gods. They’re magical. I used to believe in them too. Until I grew up.

But mummy!!! There are sooooo many Gods! I prayed to at least 5 Gods in grandma’s puja room! Surely, not all of them have gone on vacation!“, she cant believe they’re not listening to her prayers and making the virus magically disappear.

Yes darling, they’ve all gone on a vacation and are having a big party!

My mom looks cross at me. She’s throwing dagger eyes at me. I ignore her.

Don’t listen to mummy, bache. She doesn’t know better. I’m sure Gods are listening to you and soon the virus is going to go away. And then schools will start and you’ll get to meet your teachers again, and meet your friends and go to school!!“, my mom assures her darling grand daughter about the power of Gods. She sounds really convinced and excited. Maybe my daughter gets her dramatic abilities from my mom, I think.

My daughter is quite for a whole minute, before she speaks and says…

Oh, its OK. I don’t want the Gods to return from their vacation anytime soon. I can go to school later too…no problem. I can be nice to the Gods. I don’t want the virus to go away…

Sigh…Clearly, not having to go to school trumps making the virus go away.

I hope you enjoyed this conversation, which truly took place. I’d love to hear about the funny things your children are talking about during this lockdown, in the comments section 🙂

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