I was watching this episode on ‘Fast Fashion’ by Hasan Minhaj from his super entertaining show – The Patriot Act on Netflix, when this idea hit me!
I’m not into clothes (no I don’t walk around naked, you pervert :P). I just mean, shopping for clothes has never been a priority. If I could manage, I’d literally live in a pair of pyjamas or maybe two – to wash and alternate. But I do know about the love and satisfaction many of my closest friends from all genders get when they buy fashionable clothes. Its the same feeling I get when I buy and hoard new books 😀
So I thought I’d be philanthropic and just throw my superb fashion concepts and ideas to all the retailers out there to come up with their new ‘2020-2021 pandemic line‘. I don’t know if they’ll be eco-friendly, but they’re definitely feminist – big on gender equality, since everyone can wear them, or rather will have to wear them if they want to go out 😉
I apologise for not having any graphics to give you a better picture, so I hope you’ll just read and let your imagination fly! 😉
- The mask-tops : Get them in all colours and in turtleneck or boat neck styles. Masks will be attached to the neck of the garment so you can cover your mouth and nose with the neck of your top! Stylish, color coordinated and saves you the hassle of having to dangle another mask by your ears!
- The Sani-belt: No, not sanitary napkins. These will be the new in-vogue belts, in different sizes, shapes, designs, with or without bling, but with a holster, where you’ll keep those germ killing sanitisers! So buy that bling-y belt, wrap it around your dress/pants, hit that club/playground and sing, “PUMP IT! Harder!!” Now you’ll never forget your hand sanitisers or be worried about fishing it from that black hole of a bag!
- The glove-hand tops/shirts: Airport travel? Hanging out at a crowded place? Sweaty hands? We’ve got you covered! Now our tops will have detachable extended sleeves with finger fittings. So you can just slip on those snug gloves and not have to carry those strange surgical gloves and forget you’re not a surgeon 😉
- The Devi-hands accessory: Inspired by the many hands of the super amazing kickass Goddesses from our mythology. These hands will be the new necklaces. Choose from a set of two extra hands to ten! Now you can use one set to scratch your nose, another to gobble that gupchup/golgappa/panipuri/puchka, and another for holding your toddler’s hand! The germs won’t even realise what hit them!
- The veil accessory: Never knew veils would be back in fashion eh? Oh sorry, we already have them out in the market in different forms – home made, designer, eco friendly, cheap plastic – they’re called masks these days 😛
I could come up with these so far, considering my brain seems to be functioning in strange ways (bordering hysteria and madness), during the new normal. I come up with jokes and ideas like the above and torment my family, while laughing hysterically like those evil villains. So I thought I should also torment strangers on the internet. I hope you guys were tormented or laughing hysterically – I’m praying its the latter, for my sake 😀
Please add on your ideas on the new fashion concepts in the comments too! The crazier, the better!
If you’re a retailer or a fashion designer and you like my ideas, I’d like a commission so I can retire 😉
If you were offended by anything I wrote, I’m sorry ..I was just kidding 🙂