I started this blog post last year, when I wanted to take time to reflect on the year that was, what went well, what didn’t, tragedies and surprises, happiness and sorrows, lessons learned or not learned, all that jazz. I read last year’s post and decided that I wanted to keep writing these posts at the end of each year. This is one of those posts that I write to myself and for myself. But since I’m also posting it on my blogging site, this is something I also want to share with my somewhat anonymous friends from the blogging community 🙂
Last year, I started my post with a quote about change being the only constant in life. This year, my thought predominantly has been this one, sorry if it’s a little sad 🙂
Here’s to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not
‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we’ve been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back, memories bring back you
(Lyrics from Maroon 5’s song – Memories, one of my favorite songs this year)
Me and work have reached a sort of passe, just like I had mentioned about the passe that I had reached with regards to my married life. Last year, I had a much better work environment and team in UK but this year, back in India, it has been terrible. I left my previous organization and joined a new one, but it still remains bad. I know I don’t love my job, hell, I don’t even like it. But lets face it, that’s the only thing I know to do, that pays the rent and all of the other things that I love to do. So, until they fire me, or until I can force myself out of my comfort zone, I’m going to probably continue working without ambition on my current job. My ideal job would be one, that would let me read, write, blog, travel, spend time with my family and friends and get paid for all of that. Now, let me go find that magic lamp to make this impossible wish come true.. lol 😀
I wish I could skip this part this time. It just hurts too much that my forever family has one piece of the puzzle missing forever now. I don’t know why we feel like the people we love will be around us forever. It is again, wishing for the impossible. Especially in cases of old age or diseases followed by death. My heart aches daily and even though I’m doing a million things, every night, I think of papa, and miss him. Every night, I want to find out some way of reaching out to him and asking him, if he was happy? If he had a good life, even though it was riddled with pain towards the end. I wanted to ask him, why did he drink so much? What wasn’t enough?
I did spend a lot of time with my in laws and my own extended family this year, and some unusual people gave me strength and made me laugh and get through my low phases, because they had already gone through a similar experience in the past and knew exactly what to say or not to say. Special shout out to my cousins – Vivek (Vicky) and JC.
But above all, I have been saved this year by the two R’s in my life – my sister Richi and my daughter Roshni. I wish them both all the happiness and a really long and healthy life, so that I have them around forever (I know, selfish me, but I don’t know what I will do without them). Roshni turned 3 this year, and has been such a delight and pain in the ass at the same time! lol 😀
I have continued to try and make my overall growth a priority this year as well. Being busy doing the things you love and things that help you physically or mentally, is a great way to deal with all the shit that is going on in the world or in your own personal life. I have updated this based on the personal goals or plans I had set up for myself on this post, at the beginning of the year. So, here’s a snapshot of how my personal year was and let’s see how many of the goals I achieved, how many I didn’t, and what new things I added in 🙂
Reading goals and challenges update:
I had signed up for a couple of reading challenges and my own reading goal on Goodreads, so here is a snapshot:)
- The 2019 Modern Mrs Darcy Reading Challenge – I completed all the 12 checkboxes for this challenge! Yay!
- I was going to join Paige’s reading challenge for the few of the months – Jan, Apr, May and Dec, but I think I read only two books from the challenge. You can see her reading challenge post here
- I had signed up to read 50 books this year on Goodreads challenge, and I over-achieved that goal! I read a total of 62 books this year and really proud of myself..hehe 😀
- The Goodreads book club – Kick Up Your Heels destination challenge : I didn’t fare very well in this challenge. I visited just 4 destinations out of 12. Here are the places I travelled to with the books I read 🙂
- Cuba – Next Year in Havanna
- India – Magical Women by Sukanya Venkatraghavan
- South America – Hippie by Paulo Coello
- USA Southern States – Looking for Alaska by John Green
Epic Fail. Yet another year passes by, and I still don’t own a car, and I still don’t know how to drive. Argh!
I did write a lot more than last year and I’m happy with my slow yet steady progress. I wrote more short stories this year, and I also braved my inhibitions and sent my first short story to a few sites to be published. It got rejected, but that’s OK 🙂 I participated for the third consecutive year in NaNoWriMo this year and wrote way more words than the first two years, even though I didn’t write all the 50K. But the best part of the writing was, the therapy it gave me and the avenues it opened up to meet and make friends with other writers. I hope to keep building on this next year as well 🙂
Well, I didn’t run daily, but I ran a lot this year. And I ran my first few 10Ks as well!! Woo Hoo!
I traveled a lot as well this year. At least as much as my job and family situation would allow me to, in a year. It’s not ideal, but I try to make do with what I have and what I can 🙂
- Odisha – Puri, Rourkela and Bhubaneswar
- Maharashtra – Forts, Weekend retreats with friends, Bhandardara falls in monsoons
- Kudremukh Peak in Karnataka
- Andaman and Nicobar Islands
I had goals of socialising more, which I think I did this year. I met up with a lot of cousins and family. Hung out with a lot of my girl friends. Wrote more letters to my pen pals and made new friends via blogs and writing groups. I plan on nurturing all of these old and new relationships in the coming year as well.
I also have to jazz up my blog, but like driving, no idea when I’ll get down to doing it. I just like writing and chatting with my fellow bloggers, but when it comes to marketing my blog, I am quite lame. That needs to change soon though, because blogging has become something I really love and I need to nurture this too 🙂
Finally, a few other highlights from this year:
- I got my third tattoo in papa’s memory
- I went for my first long trek of 22Kms and loved the experience
- I went for U2’s concert in Mumbai, alone! And it was absolutely worth it!
- My husband and I celebrated 10 years of married life this year..gosh! Can’t believe it! lol 😀
So, in Looney Toon’s words, That’s it Folks!! Today is the last day of the decade, and I wish for all my friends and family to bring in the next year with a bang or a soft whoosh, whatever rocks your boat 🙂 I hope all of us manage to find some peace and happiness amidst all the shit that is going on globally, and personally. I hope we find strength in our friendships and relationships, and are there for each other, even if we don’t talk daily. I hope there are more books, more travels and more time with the people we love. I wish for delicious food, yummy drinks and glorious sunrises or sunsets for all of us. I wish papa has found a place where he can be King forever. I wish I never forget papa 🙂