Is confidence intimidating?

It feels like it has been too long since I wrote on my blog. I have been having a crazy couple of weeks settling in from my move from UK to India, but more on that later.

Today, I wanted to write about something else that has been on my mind lately. I have had the pleasure to meet a few women recently, who have all been very confident, very successful in their careers, are mothers and have a loving family, very talented, have immense energy and are very sure of themselves in this world.

I also realized, that I wasn’t one of them. Although I strive to be a better person and a better woman, I know I am not completely sure of myself and many a times, I falter and succumb to society’s pressure of who or what they expect a woman, a mom or a wife/partner to be. I am not very outspoken in that manner.

However, all these women I met, had this one thing in common. They are all very outspoken and view their opinions out aloud, without any care of whether it is approved by convention or not. In response, the society, the men in the relationships, the parents, or the friends, or the friend’s husbands, gave slightly disapproving looks. Some confided that such behaviour or outspokenness is uncalled for. Most felt intimidated. Even the men. Even the elders. Sometimes, even the docile female friends 🙂

Then I thought of all of the intelligent people I’ve come across, or read about. And not just intelligent people, but intelligent and creative people who know that they are not average. They all have a good heart somewhere, but socially, seem arrogant. But is it arrogance really, or just extreme confidence in one’s thoughts and abilities? And if it is confidence, why is it intimidating to others?

I’m reading a book of essays by Poet Audre Lorde, called Sister Outsider, currently. It talks about kinship amongst women across the World. I then wondered, what would happen if women all over the world would start being confident? Would we become intimidating then? But I don’t want to be intimidating. I just want to be confident. I just want to be heard. And I just want to be me for a change, sometimes 🙂

I’d love to hear your thoughts or arguments on this. What do you think?

3 thoughts on “Is confidence intimidating?

  1. Jina Bazzar says:

    Powerful questions and valid points yu ask. I don’t believe confidence equals arrogance, though they are both attitudes. I know about the disapproving looks, i’ve been the target of many in the past. Lately, however, i mostly stay to myself and keep my opinions. I’m not sure. Maybe i’m mellowing ? I sure hope it’s not a sign of middle-age, not at 34.

    Liked by 1 person

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