Social life as a toddler mom- Goals vs Reality

I took a week to come up with the header of this post. Initially, I thought, I’ll write a ‘How to’ post about socializing or having a life outside work and baby. But after the highs of the previous week, came the lows of this week, which made me realize, I’m no expert at this! Lol! I am still learning and figuring this out myself!

My daughter is 21 months old and very clear about what she wants already, my husband and I both work full time with non flexible hours, we moved to a new city in a new continent a month back- so are still trying to make friends, and our daughter goes to full time nursery, since nanny care is expensive here. I haven’t mentioned all this here to crib about how hard this makes life, because it doesn’t make it any different than what I know many other parents have or go through as well. And some of them still manage to have a better social life than us! Lol..I just noted these facts as a premise, in case I feel like revisiting this post and giving an update on how my social life status is with time:)

Over the last two weeks, I started to consciously plan time for socializing and pursuing my hobbies, exercising, etc-basically anything other than work, home errands and running after the toddler errands. I have a lofty list of plans and ideas, but this is how it really went down over the last two weeks..lol

Goal 1: Have more girls night out/or even an afternoon coffee or meal with my girl friends

Reality: The day I made this goal, was actually the first time I went on a Friday evening girls night out after almost a year I think!! I felt very proud of myself for cornering my husband into baby sitting longer for the evening, and going for drinks (Poor guy). I do have to mention that this was also possible because the plan was made by the only single girl I know here, which is why it helps if you have at least one single friend who doesn’t have a kid..lol! They haven’t usually forgotten how to have fun. Also, it was another thing that our girls night out started at 5 pm and ended at 7 pm, because the other mom got an SOS call from a harried dad..nevertheless..I enjoyed it a lot, and had started planning a follow up this week, when well, ahem, my daughter fell ill. Enter clingy ill toddler, sleepless nights and mom guilt- no girls time out this week. I’d say I have still achieved a 50% goal on this one over the two week period <wink>

Goal 2: Exercise every day for half an hour at least and try out a gym or that dance class I heard about that happens at a perfect time every Friday night!

Reality: Again, week 1 went amazingly well. Because I don’t enjoy running in the cold windy wet weather here, I decided to start dancing to youtube dance/zumba workouts, every evening, once I was home and had fed the daughter her dinner and she was busy watching cartoons. However, enter week 2- I start my periods and for some reason, I just get very polar-bear-in-the-winter sorts when I’m on my periods. It’s a miracle I manage to get anything done during that time, to be frank. Also, add to that the fact that my toddler is going through major sleep regression along with her illness and was up at 3 am most of this week (and went back to sleep at 5 am, and we have to wake up by 6, to get ready for work). I still haven’t checked out that dance class, because first week I was out for the girls night (see point 1) and clearly, alcohol is more important than exercise (cough!) and second week- I blame it on the combination of period laziness and toddler illness. So, considering, I haven’t yet made exercising an habit like brushing or pooping yet, and the fact that it still is something I have to plan to do- I think I failed miserably over the last week. Sigh

Goal 3: Go out more or have more play dates/socials with other families or friends and cook at home, impress people with my amazing hosting skills and all that jazz

Reality: Going out- well, did not happen. Socializing via play dates is an amazing concept though, especially if you’re lucky enough to have or find people who have almost similar mind sets and a child near the age of your own child! Lol..we have found one such family here. So although, it is awesome to have them as literally living in the block next door, and take turns having dinner parties at each other places every weekend- we just know that one family. And they have a bigger social group. So unless, we start reaching out to more people, or unless I start learning how to dish up amazing dishes and not order from the Indian take away nearby (ahem), this is not going to get better and I risk boring our only other playdate friends by over inviting. Maybe, I will have some better statistics in this department in a few months time- if the toddler and UK weather permit 😀 We did have one dinner party at our place the first week and it was a lot of fun. The toddlers just had so much fun running around and the best part was that they both conked off to sleep without a fuss!!! aaah bliss! (Trust me, all parents will nod their head in agreement..lol) I also intend to plan more of going out over the next few weeks, so lets see where that takes us 🙂

How was your weekend or week days and how do you socialize and stay in shape- physically and mentally when you have a toddler around? I’d love to hear some tips or even funny stories.. 😀

Note: Images have been copied from various sources on the internet and I have no copyright claim on them and I hope I can use them because they’re well, on the internet..ahem. I noticed many people adding something similar on their sites, when they put a picture in from other sources, and wondered maybe I should be doing the same? 🙂